Below is a rotating list of 5 core concepts of Biblical Life Coaching.
You are invited to check back from time to time to learn about new concepts.
Concept #1
Spiritual Cosmology
A song I once heard says, "This life is a dream. It will be over in the blink of an eye. Remember who you are. Remember what you are." Keeping in mind what this life is really all about and what this world is all about is one of the most powerful tools we have to keep balance and perspective, and to help us both through the difficult times and the good times. I call this, "Being cognizant of the Spiritual Cosmology". This world is just an illusion – albeit an important one. Time and space are carefully constructed illusions which allow our eternal souls to have an experience in the "playing field" of this physical world. Keeping in mind that the Real (with a big "R") world is the eternal world of the spirit, where space and time do not exist, and where only love and eternal connection exists, helps us to understand what is real and what is not real in this world, and this, in turn, helps us realize why we are here on this earth: to move more and more towards the eternal value of love, and more and more away from the false illusions of pride, unnecessary materialism and gratuitous hatred and violence. I always like to tell people, especially the younger generation, "We are really in a giant multi-player video game. The physical universe is the playing field of the video game, and our physical bodies are the characters inside the video game. Think of your soul as standing outside the video game console, moving the joystick. In a video game, it is easy to get lost in the game for hours, and chase after points, gold and silver , which are worth absolutely nothing outside of the game. Don't become so completely absorbed in the game as to forget that you are actually the person standing at the console playing the game!" Likewise in this world: it is easy to chase after those things that have no eternal value in the eternal world of the spirit, only to wake up from this dream at the end of our lives to find out that we have wasted far too much time chasing after those things which cannot be transferred with us to the eternal world of the spirit. Keeping in mind this Spiritual Cosmology helps us focus on that which is truly important in our lives, such as family, close friends, fulfilling our mission and dreams, and hopefully enjoying many of the beautiful things within this physical world during our short stay here. Find out more.
Concept #2
The Universe Moves at the Rate of 1 Second per Second
Forget about multitasking, I am very against it. Life has a rhythm, the world has a pace, the universe has a timing to it. Take notice of your breath when you are relaxed. It is neither too fast, nor is it too slow. It is in line with the pace of the universe. This is precisely why so many meditative traditions have us focus on the breath to achieve a meditative state. Focusing on the breath brings us into pace with the underlying pace and timing of the universe. The problem is, people tend to fall out of this pace. They either go to slow, or more likely in this modern age, go too fast, thinking they will accomplish more in their lives this way, constantly working long, frenetic hours and multitasking. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The only way to reach one's destiny and to, ironically, maximize our potential on this earth, is to move at the pace of the universe, neither too fast nor too slow. As I always say, the rate of speed of the universe is one second per second. We, too, should be moving through our days, our nights and our lives at the rate of one second per second. This puts us in balance with Yehowah himself. Focusing on the beach and relaxing, at any time during the day, can realign us with this underlying timing of the world that Yehowah has created. Find out more.
Concept #3
Order from Chaos
The fundamental activity that Yehowah undertook in the creation of the universe was the molding of Order our of Chaos. This was not done instantaneously, it was done over the course of six days. Each day, the raw lump of clay was molded a bit more into the final creation, which was the earth in its perfected state. In Genesis 1, after each molding "session", Yehowah proclaims the day's work as "good". This is a deep analogy to our own lives. We must each think of ourselves as sculptors, and our lives' work as clay (an analogy that is used many times in the Tanach). Just as Yehowah did during the six days of creation, each day, we must take the lump of clay and form it into the finished product which is our lives – we must, each day, create a bit more order out of chaos, good out of the amorality of nothingness. This is our job, our mission, and our destiny in this life, and when we do this, each day, like Yehowah, we can look back at the bit we have accomplished each day, and the cumulative efforts over the months, years and our lifetimes, and declare it as "good". Find out more.
Concept #4
The Ten to Ten Rule
Each of us deserves a break from the trials, problems and tribulations of day-to-day life. Not only is it what our bodies and souls deserve, it is necessary in order for both to be refreshed for the next day. The modern world teaches us that we have to be "on duty" producing 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This could not be farther from the truth. Not only does it sap our very humanity from us, making us feel like beasts of burden, it also renders us far less effective in the long run in accomplishing our goals. In the East, people still understand the concept of "ying-yang", of "sun-moon", of "compressed energy and rarefied energy", of "primary, male energy and reflective, female energy" – of day and night. Both contribute to the whole of the person and both are necessary components of the full, self-actualizing human being. Therefore, I teach my students to follow the "10 to 10 Rule". This means that from 10pm until 10am, you are not allowed to worry about anything, or do anything aside from pleasurable, self-enriching activities. This allows the body to rest and, more importantly, it allows the soul to rest and return to its spiritual source. Both will have plenty of opportunity to "reunite" the following day to take care of all the worldly tasks that need to be accomplished for ourselves and for others. Ironically, I have found that people tend to worry most about things at night – sometimes laying in bed for hours obsessing over exaggerated fears and worries – when they can least effectively deal with the problems they are worrying about. No matter what is going on in your life (aside from, Yehowah forbid, an emergency), between 10pm and 10am, declare yourself "off duty" and give both your body and soul a much needed and a much deserved rest. Find out more.
Concept #5
Looking for the Garden of Eden
I think, as far back as I can remember, I have been looking for the way back to the Garden of Eden. No, I don't mean it literally, I mean that I have been looking for something which gives me that sense of oneness and connection that we all seek, whether we know it or not. In high school, it was getting good grades to get into a top college. While an interesting experience, college was far from the Garden of Eden. After college, I ran off to California, thinking that sun, surf and a nice car would be the ticket to my salvation. That lasted for about 10 days. Over the years, I have tried many other things, and traveled to many places, each time thinking the "entrance to the garden" might be there, but still never found it. Then one day I realized: the answer is right there in Genesis 3:24, "After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life." To make a long story short, we can't get back to the Garden, at least not in this life, or in this current incarnation of the earth. This doesn't mean we should stop trying to find paradise, but it does mean that we must realize the reality of the situation humanity is currently in and what that means for us: we will always have that nagging feeling of emptiness and longing in our hearts and souls, we will always have to deal with injustice and evil around us, both personally and what we hear in the news, we will always have to accept that the world is not in a perfected state at the moment, and it's not going to be for the time being. Some people call this "radical acceptance of one's current situation," and far from being debilitating or immobilizing, when used correctly it is incredibly empowering; it is a form of acceptance and release into the hands of Yehowah. Far from forcing us to give up our hopes and dreams of a day when the world is filled completely with love, unity and connection, it allows to hold onto those hopes, but at the same forces us to accept, embrace and deal with the reality that is now, realizing that the underlying feeling of emptiness and depression that we all have at times is not going to go away, and it is not supposed to go away, because it is a manifestation of the very fact that Yehowah has hidden his face from the world, and that we were thrown out of the Garden of Eden. This helps us drop the unrealistic expectations and focus instead on what can be accomplished by identifying the problems and challenges at hand and incrementally, day by day, working to alleviate them and make the world, and our lives, a better place. Find out more.
Concept #6
Mostly Vegan, Mostly Organic, Mostly Raw
I was having a discussion the other day with a very close friend, and we came to the realization that human beings are the only creatures in the universe in which the body and the soul are joined. The angels, mentioned many times in the Tanach, have only a soul but no body (except when they come to earth to achieve a particular mission.) The animals, on the other hand, have a body, and while they do have a soul, it is not on the same level as the human soul, which was created "in the image of Yehowah". (Genesis 1:26) This puts us in a unique position, as the only creatures which are an amalgam of spirit and body. While spirit and body often seem to be at odds – and indeed it is our challenge in this life to unify and make peace between the two – the fact that we are creatures in which spirit and body are so closely joined shows us that one affects the other: what we do in our spirit affects our bodies, and what we do with our bodies affects our spirit. No other creature can make this claim. The importance of treating our bodies correctly cannot be underemphasized. Therefore, besides proper sleep and regular exercise, the diet which I would like to introduce to you – and the one which I follow myself – is what I call "Mostly Vegan, Mostly Organic, Mostly Raw". Notice the word "Mostly" before each of the other words. This is important; it is in line with one of my most fundamental principles, which is "if you don't bend, you break." For instance, I do not keep a fully vegan, organic and raw diet. Once in a while I will eat fish, and perhaps once a year chicken; I try to get as much organic food as I can, but I can't always find the organic version of everything I want or need, especially when I am traveling; and while I certainly try to emphasize lots of fresh fruits, vegetables and nuts in my diet, I certainly do like some of my foods cooked. I consider "vegan, organic, raw" to be an ideal to which I strive as much as possible, but which I cannot and have no intention of meeting 100%. This is the approach I will recommend with you. We will talk a lot about the incredible importance of a healthy lifestyle, about the body-mind connection, and about finding an approach that works for you. If that means eating meat three times a week instead of every day, so be it. If that means becoming fully vegetarian or fully vegan, so be it. If that means trying to shop at a store which offers more organic choices, so be it. We will keep the ideal in mind, but we will realize that this is an ideal to be strived for, but not necessarily fully achieved. Find out more.
Concept #7
Follow Faith, Not Fear
Dr. Abraham Low, the founder of Recovery International, an organization I have been involved with for years through one of my greatest mentors, Jack Sandhaus, says, "You can only have one thought in your mind at a time, so make it a secure one." Though the fast pace of the modern Western world has taught us to believe that we can multitask, it is not true. We may be able to switch quickly between thoughts and tasks to create for ourselves and others the illusion that we are multitasking, but it is similar to a computer which creates the illusion that multiple apps are running simultaneously by switching very quickly between them. What does this mean to us? It means that we absolutely cannot be thinking fearful, worrisome thoughts if we are actively filling our minds with secure and reassuring thoughts. We must, and do, actively choose between faith and fear, whether we realize it or not, because these two polar opposites cannot reside at the same time in our minds. Both choices also create feedback loops: the more we think fearful and worrisome thoughts, the more fearful and worried we become, which causes even more fearful and worrisome thoughts. Before long, we are lying in bed up all night consumed with fear and worry. On the other hand, if we fill our hearts, minds and souls with reassuring and faith-filled thoughts, the more relaxed, at peace and secure we feel, and this leads to even more and greater secure and faith-embued thoughts. Soon, we find ourselves actually at peace and enjoying our lives, even with the inevitable ups and downs that accompany it every day. To describe these phenomena, I like to use the metaphor of using ones energy to make the choice to gravitate either towards a black hole or a bright star. The world of worry and fear is the black hole: the closer one gets to a black hole, the greater the gravitational pull of the black hole, which causes one to move even closer to the black hole with greater speed and force, and so on. If we don't reverse course with force and determination, we will end up getting swallowed into the bottomless abyss. On the other hand, the realm of faith and peace can be likened to traveling towards the white, glowing light of a star: the closer we get to the star, the more light we receive, which serves to illuminate our paths to move even closer to the star. Eventually, we are bathed in the light of the peaceful and reassuring thoughts, and this allows us to relax and think securely and clearly about our next steps on the path. Though, in this life, we can never completely reach the star ("For no man may see Me while he is alive" – Exodus 33:20), which represents Yehowah, infinite light, eternal life and complete faith, we wake up each day and make an attempt to move closer towards the bright light of the star rather than towards the abyss of the black hole, which represents fear, complete darkness and, ultimately, death. So, if we find ourselves moving towards the black hole, how do we reverse course: the same way we would if we were moving towards a black hole in space – forcefully and deliberately. We must use our will, energy and effort to actively fill our minds with faith-filled and reassuring thoughts. When those reside inside us, there will be no room for fear-filled and worry-filled thoughts. Or, to quote once again Dr. Abraham Low, when you are experiencing fear and worry, deliberately "replace insecure thoughts with secure thoughts." Find out more.
Concept #8
Visualization, Affirmation, Meditation
When Yehowah created the universe, he started with a vision of the perfect earth that he wished to create. This is expressed in the very first verse of the Torah, which I often like to translate as, "When at first Elohim wished to create the sky above and the earth below." Following this idea or concept he had, Yehowah then uttered "affirmations" in the form of speech to help manifest these ideas to fruition. This is expressed in the famous verses such as Genesis 1:3, "And Elohim said, 'Let there be light', and there was light." After this speech, the will, wisdom and one could even say love and enthusiasm that Yehowah had for creating this world funneled down into the physical plane, which was first created and then shaped and molded into the perfected physical world, according to the vision that Yehowah had. The first chapter of Genesis teaches the incredible power of using thought and speech to create and mold within this physical world. The first chapter of Genesis shows us that Yehowah can and did do this. But this is only half the story: the second chapter of Genesis tells us that we, as descendants of Adam and Eve, are created in Yehowah's image and in His likeness. We are the only creatures about which this unique phrase is used, and the importance of this statement is astounding. Yes, like the animals, we can eat and drink and build houses; and like the angels, we can sing to and praise Yehowah. But we are the only creatures in the entire universe who can do what Yehowah did in Genesis 1: take a vision, an idea, a concept, a dream; think and mediate about it; visualize it in our minds; speak and talk about it and declare our intentions to make it come true; and then go ahead into the physical world and make it a reality. No other creature can do this, and this is the true meaning of the phrase "created in our image and our likeness". We are the only creatures who exist simultaneously in the spiritual world and the physical world; we are the only creatures who are an amalgam of soul and body; and as such, we are the only creatures who can funnel our dreams, ideas and visions for a better (or worse) world down into this physical plane of existence to change the physical makeup of the world and mold it into a vision and reflection of that which our souls envisioned. It is often said that the body and the soul are at odds with each other, and in fact, many religions and philosophies, both Western and Eastern, are based on this concept and offer ways in which one can defeat and nullify the other. But this misses the incredible and beautiful point of why Yehowah created us as a union of body and soul: body and soul can be at odds with each other and can be the worst of enemies, or they can work together in unity and unison, and filter down into the physical world the vision for a better and even perfected world that our souls and spirits create, somewhere beyond space in time in the world of the spirit. This is precisely why tools such as visualization, affirmation and meditation are such powerful tools. They allow us to do exactly what we were put on this earth to do: bring our best ideas and visions down into this plane of the physical. They allow us to do just what Yehowah did in the first chapter of Genesis: create. For this reason, as we work together, there will be a strong emphasis on visualization, affirmation and mediation. Find out more.
Concept #9
Don't Get a 100 on the Test
Get an 85, or a 92, or a 95 at the most, but not a 100. Yes, I know it sounds counterintuitive because we are so attuned in our culture to thinking that anything less than perfection is an unacceptable sign of weakness and failure. But it’s not. The happiest people I know are able to give themselves a little, actually a lot, of leeway and realize that not only is perfection an unattainable illusion, but that by allowing themselves to shoot for “very good” or “good enough” rather then “perfect” or “absolutely outstanding”, their performance actually rises. Let me tell you a personal story. When I was a youth, in high school, my entire life centered around grades. A 90 or a 92 was not good enough for me: it had to be a 95 or a 97, or better yet, a 100. The many extra hours of homework and studying I put in to achieve this, not to mention the toll it took on my social life and leisure activities, was in my eyes just the price I was born and destined to pay to achieve "perfection", a goal which I never achieved anyway, because perfection is an unachievable objective, at least in this world. In the end, I managed to get a 95+ average and graduated near the top – though not at the top – of my class. (That badge of honor was reserved for someone else who was able to get closer to perfection than I, though of course he did not attain it either.) Nonetheless, I got into a top school with an impressive name – the school of my choice – and thought that I had been given a ticket to the Promised Land. It took me only a few months to figure out that the place I had reached was far from the Promised Land. Soon I found out what my “reward” was for all that hard work in high school: more hard work, lots and lots of it – that is, if I wanted to keep up with the Joneses, fit into the "in" crowd, and remain an A student within the highly competitive (and often arrogant) environment which I now found myself. At first, I tried my darnedest, fueled by my ego (and low self esteem) to stay not at the top of the heap, but just to keep my head at the surface of the water with the other overachievers, often staying up all night to study; but by the second year of college I was broken; I just couldn’t take it anymore. I saw no light and the end of the tunnel, just a life of endless sacrificing myself to grades, salary, career, and ego. After a kind of nervous breakdown late in my Freshman year which continued throughout the first semester of my Sophomore year, at my lowest point, I finally came to the realization that I had to make some serious changes to my life. That's when it finally dawned on me: What is the point of all this pain and suffering just to try to remain at the top of the mountain and feed my ego and low self-esteem, among so many other people willing to work longer and harder to remain at the top of the mountain to feed their ego and low self-esteem? Suddenly, it all seemed insane. Wouldn’t it be better if I just tried to return to my true self and be the much happier person I was before grades and achievement became the most important thing in my life? If this meant being a B or even a C student rather than an A student, so be it. It was a radical choice for me, because it had been so long since academic achievement had not been the center of my life that I could barely remember it. I had to think all the way back to elementary school, when I was a carefree kid running around the schoolyard who loved learning for the sake of learning and had lots of friends. But that’s exactly what I did. I started aiming for B’s rather then A’s or A+’s, and for the first time since my childhood I felt free, and felt that I had taken my life back. I was determined to be true to myself and I didn't care what anybody thought anymore – not my parents, not the few friends I had made at this school, and not my fellow students. I had seen where thinking too much about what others think had led, and I couldn't go down that road any more. And yes, I got my B’s and my C’s at first – actually for the first time ever in my life – and began adjusting to this new reality of being just an average student, and to my newfound freedom. But I was much happier. And I would have been totally satisfied with a B or a C average, but a funny thing happened on the way to reducing my expectations for myself: in the second semester after doing this, without trying hard at all, I got a solid A average. Yes, I had reduced my work load a bit, and I took some easier courses as well as a few courses which I chose for my sheer enjoyment (like Astronomy), but the point was this: by lowering my expectations, my performance had actually risen. My parents were thrilled, friends were a bit shocked, and my classmates could not have cared less one way or another. I was as shocked as anybody, but I took it as a lesson for life, and that's what I'd like to teach you: When we go back to finding our balance in life, when we are in our natural flow with ourselves, the universe and Yehowah, this leads to our greatest level of "self-actualization", which is a higher level than mere "achievement", and subsumes achievement. I know it sounds counterintuitive but it's true. Through this process of giving ourselves a bit of leeway, we come to realize that our perfectionism was not an expression of balance but of obsession, compulsion and an inability to let go and realize that perfection is an unattainable ideal anyway, at least in this world. As your life coach, I’m going to encourage you to go for "very good" or "good enough in this case", rather than "perfect". Besides feeling like a human being again, you’re going to be surprised how often you hit "excellent" without even trying. Find out more.
Concept #10
The Answer Will Come
Our lives are filled with questions, questions which often don't have any immediate answers. Our lives are filled with problems, problems which often don't have any immediate solutions. Our lives are filled with dilemmas, dilemmas which often don't have any immediate clear path. I believe that the best thing to do in such a situation is be patient; the answer will come, and present itself before you. Unless you are flying a plane and need to make an emergency landing, the fact of the matter is that most of your decisions can be probably be deferred, at least a bit. This is not procrastination, which is another phenomenon all together, often resulting from fear or an aversion to temporary discomfort. While procrastination involves putting off a decision longer than one should, the opposite is as just a common part of our lives, and one that goes far more unnoticed. One can make a decision too quickly, and thereby make an incorrect or incomplete devision, without giving the universe a time to have its say in the matter. If, instead, we teach ourselves to slow down, be patient, and "throw our question out to universe", Yehowah will often provide the answers in ways we wouldn't have expected, and the answer will be much deeper and complete than if we had not done so. Perhaps we will have a chance meeting with someone the next day who had a similar dilemma and solved it in a certain way, and suddenly we know exactly what we need to do. Perhaps we will be taking a walk in the neighborhood or along the beach and we will have an epiphany and the answer will flow into our mind with complete clarity. Perhaps it will take a series of events, or even trials and tribulations, before we are able to understand with clarity what the answer is. Or maybe the answer will come to us in a dream. Whatever the method by which Yehowah wishes to communicate with us, we must give ourselves time and space for Him to do so, since Yehowah will filter the answer down through the physical world of time and space. You see, Yehowah wants to be involved in our lives. In fact, he very much wants to be involved in our lives, just as a parent wants to be involved in the lives of his or her children. But he knows he can't give us the answers directly, because that would be "cheating" on the system he set up, whereby his children must find the answers on their own by looking around and living in the universe he has created. This is the only way we can learn and grow. Like impatient children, we all want immediate and direct answers from Yehowah, but as He told Moses, "no man shall see me and live." (Exodus 33:20) Instead, when we ask him a question or ask for help in making a decision, He hears us, but what he will often do is command the universe he created and controls to give us the answer; the answer in a sense filters down from him through the physical universe, and eventually reaches us. But because he is filtering his answer through the medium of space and time, it takes time before it gets to us, and if we wish to hear it, we must have patience and faith that the answer will come, when it is meant to come, and in the way it is meant to come. If we want to let him be involved in our lives, we have to give him the time to respond, through the signs and wonders of his beautiful world and the people who inhabit it. You see, Yehowah wants no part of our fast-paced world of immediate answers and immediate gratification. He works at his pace, and if we want answers, we have to have patience and work at his pace as well. Not only will we get all the answers to our questions, and more, but it will teach us to relax, to slow down, to have faith and trust in Him and in the functioning of the world. Look at the plants and the animals. They never hurry anywhere. They go at just the right pace required to achieve their tasks, whether it be a plant growing a flower over a couple of weeks or a lion chasing his prey over the period of a few seconds. As such, they are in perfect flow with the pace of the universe, and so their task gets accomplished exactly as it should. We can learn from the plants and the animals and do the same. How does this translate into the practical applications of our day to day life? Well, you know that feeling when you've overthought a question or worked on a problem too long? It's at that time that you need to take a break and take a long walk, or just wait until tomorrow. Or, do you know the feeling when you have writer's block, or just can't come up with an answer? It's at that time that you need to give it a rest and pick it up another time. Some questions take an hour to be answered, some take a day, some take a couple of months, and some can take years. Some may never be answered at all. At any given time, if we can learn to throw our answer out to Yehowah, and give Him space and time for him to answer, then the answers will come. I assure you, they will come. Find out more.